1-My Mother uses lemon juice for her complexion. Maybe that is why she always looks so sour.
2-I m not ugly. I could marry anyone I pleased! But that’s the problem – you don’t please anyone.
3-Fred: What’s that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders? Harry: Help! What is it? Fred: Your head!
4-She’s so ugly that when a wasp stings her it shuts its eyes.
5-First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that’s vanity? Second girl: No, it’s imagination.
6-Who won the Monster Beauty Contest? No one.
7-First Witch: I went to the beauty parlor yesterday. I was there for three hours. Second Witch: Oh, what did you have done? First witch: Nothing, I was just going in for an estimate.
8-Mrs Saggy: Mrs Wrinkly tried to have a facelift last week. Mrs Baggy: Tried to? Mrs Saggy: Yes, they couldn’t find a crane strong enough to lift her face!
9-They say Margaret is a raving beauty. You mean she’s escaped from the funny farm?
10-First witch: My beauty is timeless. Second witch: Yes, it could stop a clock.
11-Monster: I m so ugly. Ghost: It’s not that bad! Monster: It is! When my grandfather was born they passed out cigars. When my father was born they just passed out cigarettes. When I was born they simply passed out.
12-A woman finds a genie's lamp. The Genie comes out and says, "You may have three wishes, but your husband will get ten times more than what you wished for."
The woman agrees. Her first wish was that she would be the most beautiful woman in the world. "You realize," the Genie said, "that your husband will be ten times more beautiful than you, and more women will gawk at him?"
"That's okay," says the woman, "He'll only look at me because I will be the most beautiful women." So the wish was granted.
The woman then thinks long and hard about her last wish. She finally wishes that she had a mild heart attack.
You can submit and more jokes for publishing here that are physical-appearance related. But do bear in mind that they should not be malicious or racially motivated. They should also not violate any copyright laws. For any breach or violation of law or our policies, the individual or group submitting the material will be responsible.
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